maybe this is a mistake, im sorry i was cruel. but those words were the thoughts trapped in my head. i find it hard to release my ideas directly to you at all times, hell to most people. so when i hold things in they come out exploding on the drop of a dime. i expect you now to not want to have anything to do with me, curse my name and wish you had enough (insert drug of choice) to ease the day, lose the pain. i've been drinking since i came home after passing your house 4 times, i couldn't let myself do it in person. i am weak to you. walking to your house i begin to form my great eulogy, then i see you. I can;'t help but smile. the biggest most disgusting fucking smile in the world for someone who doesn't care. won't love. you probably outright despise me for what i've done. u want my friends? have them they like you more than me. do they call me, no they call you. So tonight maybe i'll rest on a bed of bottles? lose my soul in bounds of pills? release my tension with one swift slice?

hell no. im jaked, but not ready to lose myself entirely. maybe the few brain cells that survived the numerous crashes.....

ef-gfs - tina, jamie, and you.
death - vince, david, ryan, josh and tiffany
failures - jobs, school, friends/family, brad

next comes the insecticide in the form of a pill.
'knock me out onto the floor'