my place of reflections (ecoffee) closed it's doors yesterday. so tonight i sat wide eyed at a blank computer screen, debating what i should do with my love life. I realy don't know if she'll be happy with me, if this is whats she wants and needs. I told her to take some time to herself and figure out what she requires for now at least. so what do I do, break the plan of spending time without each other and go to see her.

if that's not enough i greedily let my lips slip to hers, it began with a hug, to embracing, my lips touching her soft neck, to me wanting to touch her cheek. Then came the kiss, my body melted, mind went blank, almost forgetting where i was. I began to hear that old tune 'last night regrets', direct quote "realized i'd slept with my friend. i fucked up again. i lost another friend. saw her again, she use to be my friend... she said it's over don't talk to me"

to missa:
i hope you find whatever you need. whatever you're looking for. hopefully, i fit in your new life.

today my dad stood up for me and gave me huge support in the face of one of the meanest, cruealest women in the world. she wanted to speak to my dad. "your son didn't even try to work, never put in a full days work in his life, and he has a problem waking up."

to which he replied, "since he left here (kelly's aunt's house) he's been getting up and job hunting and helping out around our house with anything he could. (something to the effect of WHAPPAM!) (heehehe)
it was great, oscar worthy. i love my dad, he's been much better most recently, more understanding and forgiving. so i give him what i can in return.

i found my White Stripes albums 'De Stijl' and their self title. friggin awesome rock.

listening to some old Home Grown I found "That's Business". 1995' my god im geting old. That's when I remember listening to these song like battle hyms, in fact one song I use to laugh about 'Get A Job'. Some guy sitting around wasting his time, not graduated from HS, and failnig job after job. Sounds fmailiar? more ironic than humorous.

'Get A Job'
I've been wasting my life for 19 years. I'm tired of sitting around, watching football and drinking beer. I don't want to go to work. Pushed around by a fuckin jerk. I don't wanna do anything. But my life is in a rut. An education I gave up. I don't want to do anything. Oh yeah! I'm going out to get a job. I'm gonna rise up to the top. I'm gonna make a million dollars. A couple years have gone by, I feel I'm getting old. Nothing to do with my life. I'm just a loser with nowhere to go.

doesn't seem so funny 7 years later. dammnit.