it's official.
i'm incredibly hopeless to this situation. no amount of study, time or money can alter the way in which things have turned towards, because of my past actions.

katri and i watched invader zim until about 5 minutes ago, just glad i had someone to share my restlessness with.

now i find myself alone, with cigarette burns on my hands and eye lashes (cinged/singed) from lighting an overloaded roll.
this is compensation in the form of a karma payment, for my former deeds.

locked my diary for about 4 and a hlaf hours, then made my xanga entries private.
trying to prevent a backlash of my thoughts and words.