I feel quite nonplussed, as if my mind has been disabled, words speak inwardly but contain no value, above all else I see nothing I can do. this fiasco with amber has bothered me to the point of tossing in my bed, either the sheets are too warm or I feel too cold; resting without a median of actual peacefulness. she and I were supposed to see each other on 3 different occasions this weekend. all failed; first 2 times other things were happening on her end of things the third time I was low on gas and cash so a hour drive each way didn't seem too appealing. I probably came off as if it was a ditching effort, but that was not my intent. this and many other cases, my intentions with good merit have hurt someone. my day ended with Sarah�s friend/roommate (Melissa) moving back to Fresno this afternoon.

to recap everything in 60 words or less:
tried to comfort Sarah on the loss of Melissa, appease my mom by being home, and still keep things going somewhere decent with amber. I failed far too many of them, then again maybe pleasing people isn't my specialty. I will however push forward and hopefully learn from my mistakes and communicate better with others to prevent hurt.