In an amazing spectacle on my birthday my suprise birthday went as planned for the most part. In other words, it was like that party I had when I was turning 13: invited the best of friends, had great things to do, amazing food and drink. A few didn't show which wasn't bad because the people who meant the world to me were there. Then there is Dani and Sabi in their self obstructed side category of shame for treating me like shit and being general pains in my ass from time to time (as I was for them).

I stayed sober for most everyone's visit, especially Rachel as my present to her. She's been doing a wonderful job and keeping a clear head. I say this as my girlfriend asks me to find her "pain killers: because she is too fucking lazy to go to the doctors like she had [planned on for Wed, Fri and Sat. How convenient that no one was open on your "ditch day" from work. Yeah, setting up my party took oohh so long. 1.5 hours total and don't contest it, I was there. So I'm stuck sitting here for fear of bailing and being a bad boyfriend but you should have taken care of this shit over 2 weeks ago!

What the fuck goes through your mind when the pain starts to hit? "Oh no it'll go away in time.." No, wait, that's me. I've been taking care of you and bending to every fucking annoying wish as I try to do my work I feel like shit for not spending time with Rachel.

Rachel oh Rachel, my fucking rock. Equilibrium. Balance beam, Breathalizer. Sanitarium. Friend, til' the end.

You'll read this and say oh well he was probably drinking. I have, that's me within reason. Sarah was independent and is apparently no longer so, even when in "excrutiating pain". Yet she can shop for herself and not just for groceries...

An band of ours once said, "Wearing your black eye like a badge of honor Soaking in sympathy from friends who never loved you nearly half as much as me"

The day I walk away you just might realize I haven't been just spewing lines from movies AND what might get done what NEDS TO BE DONE. For me, the bullshit and undertoned insults your family shot my way that you did nothing for lets me know where the fuck we stand.

Moralality, opinions, family, spirituality, friends, blood and emotions obviously don't mean that much, that is unless it is convenient. Happy fucking birthdays and holidays, black tongues to you if I can afford it.

party on wayne.. party on garth

im sorry rachel, bros (and lesbos) before hos (and ho-ho's).