So tomorrow is my last day to find ANY work or I leave to LA. So as you may be excited to see me return home, know I will be doing so against my will. I love Seattle and do not want to leave. So as you rejoice you stab me.
knife count: 18

"fan bloody tastic" - lou


read this and imagine.....

what i gotta say
you can't stay
another night
never feels right
something to know
you should go
another face
burned today
drink to run away
avoid feelings can't say
losing what's left of my soul
alone with a heart of blackened gold

today, i changed my name
no one saved me from the rain
self medication helps
relinquish hopes and fears
watched my esteem
slowly fall down the drain
down to sewage i call home
tension calms seeping pains
nothing gold ever stays