i had a dreams this morning right before i woke, it went something like this:

people there: some mutant alligator, Jaime, Jaime's grandmother (i think), Melesssa, tourists and me.
place: some cheesy water slide theme park, possibly in florida.
mood: disturbing, almost morbid
when: it took place today, at least today makes sense.

missa and i were standing near the water's edge talking, about nothing in particular. When suddenly this green mutated alligator lunged from the water chasing tourists around, swallowing some whole.

Missa and I stood there calmy talking between the both of us, as the monster raged through the crowds. Maybe there was more between these next parts, but I forget certain scenes but it came to Jaime, Jaime's grandmother, Melesssa, and me standing in a kitchen. We were discussing when people lost their feelings for me.

Jaime - i really don't remember her saying much, but she never would look at me
Missa - i don't know when, i just kind of lost the feeling.
Jaime's Grandmother - i think it was before carter.

why can't i have happy dreams anymore? everything seems to be so depressive and trying is just useless. I've tried with Missa, I'm not going to give up till my hands are covered in my own blood and tears.
Meaning, I am going to try and fix things till blisters form and burst of my hands, seems rip apart my palms, tears streak my face on an hourly basis, when the sun is gone and i am left with no light. only then will i consider giving up.

as much as i'd like to, i couldn't give up on love. i'll never give up on you.

hold i will a special place in my heart for you.
yeah that was an attempted jedi mind trick. figured it's time i try other things. :) thank god i have a sense of humor, without that i don't know what i would do in rough situtations.

MissaBaby23 : why dont you want to work here anymore
emptypromisering : cuz i really don't want to be here
emptypromisering: cried myself to sleep again
emptypromisering: couldn't sleep till 1am
emptypromisering: guess im just pathetic in your eyes
emptypromisering: i love you and want to spend a very long time wrapped up in your dreams.
MissaBaby23: you arent pathetic
MissaBaby23: i just wish that you didnt shed a tear for me
emptypromisering: what u meant is...
emptypromisering: MissaBaby23: arent you pathetic
MissaBaby23: you arent
emptypromisering : right
MissaBaby23: jon im half asleep
emptypromisering: like im any better
MissaBaby23: i know im saying
MissaBaby23: i am typing really slow
emptypromisering: i want to be loved by you in the way i love you. i waited so long for our relatinship, i litterally became the epitomy of happy. i wasn't moping or drinking...
emptypromisering : u made me smile like no one coulud
MissaBaby23: i dotn know how i did that
emptypromisering: u need to realize that you are an amazing person
emptypromisering: we all have our small flaws
emptypromisering: but overall, you are a great person and i became better for having you in my life
MissaBaby23 : i dont know if thats possible
emptypromisering: if whats possible?
MissaBaby23: see me how you see me
MissaBaby23: ii dont know how i can be percieved as that
emptypromisering : you never really could
emptypromisering: please accept as an honest word, accept it blindly and learn along the way
MissaBaby23: ill try
emptypromisering: it comes from my heart
emptypromisering: no where else copuld mean that much
MissaBaby23: thank you
emptypromisering: please let it change something
MissaBaby23 : i will truely try
MissaBaby23: no problem.....you can do anything you want...its just the obstacles that keep you from doing it
emptypromisering: well i want you and nothing ill suffice
MissaBaby23 signed off at 7:28:11 AM.

and thats how this has been changing, conversations. some good some bad. both carrying both qualities.